On TV, For Every Black Woman, There's a White (or Maybe Even an Asian) Man!

Wednesday, I turned (in passing) to NBC's new drama, "Mercy." I've watched a few minutes here and there, but that's about it. You'll see why.

Anyway, after a few minutes, here she comes:

Sonia Jiminez, the very pretty black female character, played by Jaime Lee Kirchner (Kirchner???).

Well, it appears that Sonia split with her white male (cop?) boyfriend while I was away (all together now: Awwwwwwwwwww...).

So, in this episode, she tells him how much she loves him, how much she misses him, how she wants them to get back together--the whole nine.

She practically begs him to take her back.

And, he says NO (and walks out with a pretty white woman)!

The nerve of these white boys!

Well..., needless to say, Sonia is stunned and heartbroken.

Of course she is! She's lost her white boy... WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO???

Hmmmm... Well, OK...

NEXT!

So, Thursday, I turn to ABC's new drama, "Flash Forward."

Now, I've actually watched a WHOLE EPISODE of this show before. It's pretty interesting. Fascinating premise. But, I digress...

So, what's happening here???

Well, there's a very pretty black female character, Zoey (played, in a recurring role, by the mighty-fine Gabrielle Union!)... and her ASIAN FIANCE, Demetri.

Demetri--for an Asian man??? (Hey, I know that when I hear the name "Dmetri," I think Asian--don't you???).

Well, OK... some ASIAN guy lovin' up on Gabrielle Union...

I'm really not feelin' that... So...

NEXT!

[Note:  The "Angry Asian Guy" has noted this pairing--which he says "was apparently deliberate" (as though any pairing of characters on a television drama might be somehow accidental)--with seeming approval.

http://www.angryasianman.com/2009/08/gabrielle-union-stars-as-john-chos.html

I suppose that if I were in his shoes, given the absolute dearth of heterosexual male Asian characters on television, I'd approve, too.  As an African-American male, however, given the paucity of Brothas' in relationships with Sistas' on television these days, I must say that I'd have been much happier if the creators of "Flash Forward" had introduced an Asian (or even a white) female character to pair with this Asian male character, and paired Gabrielle Union's character with a black male.  I mean, the percentage of black women in relationships with Asian males borders on the microscopic.  I'm just sayin'...]

OK... then last night I turned to FX and watched a new (well, new to me...) adult cartoon--no, not THAT kind of adult cartoon--Archer.

[Remember now, this is a cartoon...]

So... what do I see...???

A very pretty black female cartoon character, Lana (apparently voiced by, if not actually modeled on, Aisha Tyler.

This very pretty black female cartoon character is the former girlfriend/lover of the very, very white cartoon character, Archer.

And, to top it all off, she's the current girlfriend of the even whiter (if that's possible!) cartoon character, Cyril.

Not to mention that every other cartoon white man in this show (and there are LOTS of them!) is trying to get with her...

Sooooooooo... pardon me while I SCREAM...!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???

Who do I have to kill to see a Sista' with a Brotha' on this damned television???

Was a law passed forbidding that kinda' thing, when I wasn't lookin'...???

ANYWAY...

It appears that television is now, with respect to white men gettin' with Sistas... some kinda White Man's Fantasy Island!

Whenever I see an attractive black female character (even in cartoons!), if I don't see a black male character, I just assume, sometime, somehow, that character is going to be hooked up with some white male character (or, as in the case of Flash Forward, some other non-black male character).

Soooo... what message is being sent here???

White men, you can have a Black woman.

Black women want white men!  They need white men!  They love white men!

Even a square-ass, whiter-than-whitebread white man like Cyril can get with a fine black woman like Lana.

OK.  I get it...


NEXT!


Everywhere I look, there's some white man kissing on, laying with, sexin' up, flirting with--some Sista...

What's up with that???

OK, so now, I'm getting ready to go to bed last night, checkin' out a little TV. 

Cut to commercial, and ... what do I see?

A commercial for Philadelphia Cream Cheese... with some white man kissing on his black woman!!!

Y'all didn't HEAR me!

I said, a white man kissing his black woman IN A COMMERCIAL FOR PHILADELPHIA CREAM CHEESE!!!

[sigh...]

Et tu, Brute???

Is there NO ESCAPE???  NOWHERE???

I mean, REALLY???

I can't take any more. I'm going to go watch some March Madness.

I trust there won't be any white men layin' up on any Sistas' on the basketball court...